I was having a bit of an argy on Twitter with @jimmyhatherley (Moneytree) and @punchdrunkpaper (Thomas Tantrum) below. Cue songwriting frenzy. One go at every part, none of it written first.

Yes it is A MASSIVE LAME GRUNGE RIPOFF with particular apologies to Evan Dando ‘(The) Door’ and Sleeper ‘Alice In Vain’. OK, Sleeper aren’t even grunge. But then neither are Japanese Voyeurs (none of them are even a bit ugly).. And I beat Dave, which was the aim.

Since the whole point of the exercise was to insult them in the most throwaway demonstration of instant songwriting possible, here’s the lyrics (also jammed out as they went down):

Jimmy’s got a job and he likes it

So he’s keeping dumb about / The bankers, the cantankerous ones

He serves, he smiles and they don’t care

About his politics, positions and / His ethics and his current affairs

Jackie’s got a girl and he likes her

Four fingers and a thumb / Playing on his bum all day long

He might just sit there and lay there

His hair is getting greasier / His thighs are getting stickier / Papers piling up all around

So what about me, Lonely?

.. Urm.

Coda: The Argument:

@lonelyjoeparker: squier tele + holy stain + roost head + 4x12 + chords from 'a lover sings' = many happy wasted hours @punchdrunkpaper #GEmCAm

@PunchdrunkPaper @LonelyJoeParker glad to see you're still setting challenges for yourself on the guitar there joe #imacunt

@lonelyjoeparker: @PunchdrunkPaper woteva bra. if you could only half 'play' with the 'feel' the way i 'vibe' dat 'ting' you'd give up die happy

@lonelyjoeparker: @PunchdrunkPaper #notthesizeofurtalentbutwhatudowivit #pwn

@PunchdrunkPaper: @LonelyJoeParker get "stuffed"

@jimmyhatherley: @lonelyjoeparker @punchdrunkpaper stop squabbling and write some songs!

@lonelyjoeparker: @jimmyhatherley @punchdrunkpaper i'll write you

@PunchdrunkPaper: @jimmyhatherley @lonelyjoeparker good plan. i'll try and post a demo up later today ;)

@lonelyjoeparker: @PunchdrunkPaper @jimmyhatherley BEAT YOU http://www.lonelyjoeparker.com/?p=773 http://bit.ly/qO9S1y